BlabberMouse

The Morning Monologues: Evening Cricket Edition

In keeping with this week's bug theme, let me introduce you to Steve. Steve is a camel cricket whose people have been trying to infiltrate our hall bathroom for the last three years. Just to be clear, Steve doesn't scare me one bit.

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Self Absorption to Talk About ... I Don't Know, I'll Decide As I Write

I'm on the phone with my absentee husband today and he says, "I see you haven't updated your blog."

I appreciate his noticing and all, but doesn't he realize I've been extremely busy LYING ON THE COUCH EATING CHEESE? I swear my work is never done.

I've tossed back nearly two blocks of Jarlsburg since Larry and the boys have been gone and believe me when I tell you I am just getting warmed up.

I lurrrrv cheese. Not that I can't eat it when Larry is here, but he forces me to eat other things too. I love him, but the man is so meal-centric. You can't just eat a block of cheese in his presence, wash it down with a couple of Triscuits, and call it a night.

Not to change the subject but did I ever tell you what we saw in our hotel room at the Comfort Inn we stopped at on our way to Florida?

I was sitting up in bed reading my book about Mother Teresa (long story), when out of the corner of my eye, I saw something skitter down the wall and run behind the bed. Larry was standing at the foot of the bed facing me when all the blood dropped out of his face and into his feet.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Was it a spider?"

"It was nothing."

"I saw it was something."

"It was nothing."

"Then why are you putting on your pants, your socks and your SHOES?"

"It was nothing."

"OH MY GOD IT WAS A COCKROACH."

"(Man Silence)"

"How big was it?"

"(Grabbing an extra sneaker and peering under the bed where the animal had disappeared.)"

"HOW BIG WAS IT?"

"Should we get another room?"

"It was THAT big?"

"(More Man Silence)"

It was two o'clock in the morning, the boys were finally in bed after five hours of driving, and we could not find the cockroach. Anywhere.

"Do they bite?" I asked.

"No."

"Then let him go in peace," I said, trying to channel Mother Teresa.

And then I hid under the covers and tried to pray like her too.

The next morning the Comfort Inn rewarded me for my bravery:

Morning Monologues: 10:44 P.M. Edition

So, last night was the Her Nashville first anniversary party (shwankee), and may I just say:

 HOW CUTE AND PINK ARE THESE DESSERTS?

 

I LOVE PINK! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!

(Get over it. I do.)



OMG with the pink!

LOVE. IT.

After I left the festivities, I went to Kroger to pick up the makings of a salad, and WHAT TO MY WONDERING EYES DID APPEAR?

Morning Monologues: MAILBAG!!!

The Morning Monologues: Salma-ther's Milk

Just had to weigh in.